"I prayed for this child....

And the Lord has granted me what I asked of him." 1 Samuel 1:27

My sweet Mateo... Oh Mattie Mattie. How do I even begin to write a post about you? Not that it's hard or anything. But because there is so much to say about you.

Let's begin with this. Think of something you want soooo badly and you're praying every night for it but someway somehow it's just not happening for you fast enough. Not because you are a bad person or because God is trying to punish you. It's just a part of life where you simply have to look at the obstacle and either grow from it or just give up. Well... This is exactly how you come into play. We prayed for you soooo much my sweet boy. We begged day and night, night and day for you to make your presence into our lives but God had another plan for us. He had something AMAZING coming our way but we just had to be patient. And that's what we had to do. Patience and never giving up on one day realizing our dream... to become first time parents. Unfortunately your dad and I faced infertility issues. We will sit and talk to you in more depth on this and explain what is infertility and the many ways to approach it. There are several ways around it and treatments one can do.

It took us 3 years to become parents before the miracle of you. 3 L O N G years. I would question God so much during this time. I would have to beg myself to stop the tears and continue to be strong. Month after month when I saw I wasn't getting what I wanted, my heart broke into a million pieces. I just kept doing what I was used to after those tearful moments... lean over and pick up those pieces and try again. Prayers, prayers and more prayers. We seeked treatments and then Aug 2011 came. That's when I saw the most beautiful two lines of telling me we were pregnant! I will forever remember this day of me taking the pregnancy test and telling your father. I close my eyes and this memory comes so clear to me.

May 3, 2012 is when you came into our lives. This too is another memory I will carry forever in my heart. Your birth story is at the top. I needed it to be at the top of this blog because your birth clearly became one of our best memories ever. 

And here you are... Mattie. Mateo. My love. These are the names I call you. I love your name, do you know that? Actually I had heard your name Mateo back from a soap opera your tias used to watch. All My Children. haha.. so I remember there being a character that his name was Mateo. And it was such a different name. I had never heard of it before. Years pass by to this pregnancy moment and I come across the name Matthew. Which I fall in love with also! But being that we were seeking a Spanish name Mateo came into place. And it literally took me back to that younger me when I would sit on the couch and watch your tia watching that soap opera. lol. I fell in love all over again! Ahhhh but here's the kicker.. the moment I knew for sure you were meant to be "Mateo" was when we looked up the meaning of your name.

Mateo: "God's gift." :: insert tears here::

How could you NOT be named that?!?! You are indeed our gift, my love. Although it took a while for you to arrive, I wouldn't change it for the world. The obstacles we faced made me the person I am today.

I sit here and you are 3 years and 3 months old. You are my shadow. You follow me wherever I go in the house. EVERY...WHERE!!! You let me know how much you love me. How much you need me. <3 I am in the computer room as I am typing and I have your brother near me on the floor playing and you are here next to me. You keep wanting to punch the keyboard keys but I am constantly with my "no Mateo.. Mateo.. no.." haha. You are questioning me as to what I am doing. Little do you know that years from now when you read this, this is what I was doing while you asked your hundred questions.

Here is what you look like now... my little Justin Bieber (I wonder if he'll still be around by the time you read this.. hmmm .. look him up! :) I just call you this because Justin's hair used to resemble yours. When your hair grows, its the most amazing hair ever! You have it so straight and fine and ohhh so soft! You'll see along the way your hair cuts in the pictures but I just love when you have your hair kind of long for me to be able to run my hands through it. :) 

We love you so much my sweet Mateo. Your personality is literally that of a curious little boy. You are the sweetest as can be but man oh man.. you can become a little feisty too. I think that comes with the territory though. But I can honestly say that you are a good little boy. You care soooo much about others and are always looking to play with them and help out. You are beyond observant too. Nothing gets passed you kid! :) You follow your dad around also and you both are constantly playing with each other like climbing on him or getting on his back and playing horsie. Your father LOVES when you play with him. I see it in his eyes all the time. That joy is just priceless. And with me, well like I said you are my shadow. Sometimes I feel bad because I tell you to go play or to "give me some space". but what I need to realize is that it won't always be like this. You will eventually stop doing this. I'll be begging you to follow me around or to snuggle up on me. ahhhhhhhhhh.. I can't deal with that. Please promise me you will hug your momma every chance you get and tell me you love me!! Keep giving me those sweet pecks of kisses that I love oh so very much. PROMISE MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

You will be starting pre-k3 soon and you are beyond excited for that. I am too because I love watching you learn. I love watching your little face light up with excitement when you try new things. The anticipation for starting school is killing you right now! I doubt that will last long once you reach hmmm 4th grade or so. hehe. I sit here and look at you and you are giving me the cheeeeesiest most yummiest smile and look at me with your big beautiful brown eyes and say "what mami??" and all I can do is literally choke up because you have no idea how much you mean to me. How I will do whatever it takes to watch you succeed. How I want you to reach for the stars and have an amazing life. How I just want to wrap my arms around you and your brother and just nurture you every single day of my life and provide for you.

Don't ever lose your sweetness Mateo. Don't let others influence you into someone else that isn't you. Keep showing the world that amazing smile and big bold eyes you have.

 

What do you say we go down memory lane now and share with you both some incredible moments, yea?? Till next time my loves....